Archive for the Delicious Morsels Category

Excuse me, there appears to be some politics in my fiction – I’d like to lodge a formal complaint!

Posted in Delicious Morsels with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 25, 2010 by plumbobrainier

Ah, politics – love it, or hate it, you can’t ignore it. It’s everywhere, like science making gases, like people sniffing on public transport, or like girls who wear leggings with no skirt or shorts. Yes, just leggings. It’s a fetching look. I am drawn to recall Mr. Bowie’s famous words on the subject: “no, beep-beep, beep-beep, oop bop, do do do do do do do do, fa fa fa fa fashion.”

Where was I?

Ah, politics. That old horse chestnut. Now, I’m no politician, and my understanding of politics is pretty limited. I’m a writer (no sniggering!) and so my interest in politics extends to how politics interacts with fiction. One question that contains a small kernel of interest is the question of whether fiction should address politics explicitly. Should it? [shrugs] Presumably all fiction addresses some aspect of politics subplicitly, or imptextually. I’ve read my own work (as well as having written it) and I see little to no political content. But, just wait till a Marxist gets their hands on it! Then they’ll be prosecuted for breaking and entering, presumably. You see, I was making a joke there about my not having been published, which means that my work is not publicly available. Jokes are always funnier (a) when they need to be explained, and (b) when they don’t need to be explained, but are explained regardless.

Anyway, this has all been playing on my tiny mind this week for two reasons.

The 1st of these is that the General Election is coming up (mark it in your calendars! May the 16th! Isn’t it?) and whilst I was writing a story about two cats who become very close friends despite their opposing views with regard to capital punishment, abortion, and the social benefit system, I realised that I had, without even realising it, named the cats David and Gordon, and that next door there lived a small wood pigeon called Nick. It’s inescapable!

The 2nd reason is that, last week, I was clicking my way quite happily through the Guardian Bookclub pages when I stumbled upon, or rather, actively sought out an article written by a certain Ms. Lorrie Moore, American humorist. In it she mentions a story of hers called ‘Debarking,’ about which she had the following to say:

In “Debarking” I was interested in making two incongruous things intersect, or at least interested in making them sit side by side: post-divorce middle-aged dating and a shocking war beginning on the other side of the globe. All that these two subjects have in common is that they are American and create high levels of anxiety within the protagonist. Making public events coexist with private ones in the consciousness of a fictional character is not usually recommended by anyone (not editors, not teachers, not other writers, not even me). Incongruous subjects, or subjects asymmetrical in proportion, often compete and cancel each other out – and I did anticipate and in fact receive editorial feedback to that effect. “What is the war in Iraq doing in this story?” was the gist. “Well,” I thought, “what is the war in Iraq doing in the world?”

Now, I know that the war in Iraq is far more than just a political issue, but it is, in political terms, a piping hot potato nonetheless. To cut a longish story shortish, I was intrigued, and so I booked a flight to Wisconsin, discovered that Ms. Moore was actually in New York, met her there (see photographic evidence), borrowed a copy of her collected stories off her (note to self: remember to send copy back to Ms. Moore and apologise for having taken it), and proceeded to read the story in question whilst she sat opposite me in a New York deli, silently drinking a flat white coffee.

Lorrie and me. She might not be showing it, but she's just as excited to be meeting me...

The story, which you can read and judge quietly here, is, in my underinformed and underread opinion, very funny and fabulously well written. That’s the norm for a L. Moore story. But it’s also interesting for the way in which the main character’s reactions to the onset of war in Iraq colour certain scenes. I did at times think, “hold on, what is the war doing in this story?” The characters in the story take a definite line when it comes to the war, but aside from indicating the contemporaneity of events depicted, does such commentary add anything to the story of a divorcee dating a woman, also a divorcee, who is rather weirdly obsessed with both statues of naked boys and her own teenage son? The threads of the story are as Moore puts it, incongruous. Incongruity is a theme, or even the mode of the story. It is perhaps a fallacy to think that mentions of the war have no place in ‘Debarking’, that they ought to be edited out. Of course, fiction, or at least, realist fiction (whatever that is! Aggghh!), is life, edited down to a few points of interest. Moore’s story posits that the war in Iraq, in all its horrible magnitude, was and is too big to edit out, even if it serves no purpose in the story’s plot. Politics encroaches!

Although I wouldn’t write an overtly political novel myself, I wouldn’t purposely avoid mentioning politics in my fiction simply because I fear to be branded POLITICAL. Politics is like anything else: it’s there, in your face all the time. It’s like Facebook. Or bodily functions, one’s own and those of others. These things will make it into fiction. And, perhaps, (perhaps!) they have to be there.

CLUNK!

What do YOU think?

On a side note, I’m thinking of killing off the two cats in my story.

P. R.

Top 10 Writing Tips in the World… Ever! Vol. 42 (expressed as pushy, exclamatory imperatives)

Posted in Delicious Morsels with tags , , , , , , on April 10, 2010 by plumbobrainier

I’m not exactly current. The Guardian of our moral consciences published the top ten rules for writing of many pen-wielders about half a century ago and now I’m jumping on the station wagon, even though my opinions on the subject are of little to no consequence, and probably entirely derivative of others laid down previously. Feel free to agree with religious fervour, or disagree vehemently.

Here they are:

  1. Read anything! Don’t fill your head with nothing but highbrow stuff. Wikipedia, for exemplum, is a writer’s bestest friend, and is a useful model for anyone who employs elaborate digression. Don’t forget to write though…
  2. Don’t settle on one place/time of day/sitting position to write! Defamiliarise yourself from the process – write on a bin in the street, write whilst standing on one leg, write in landscape layout, write in different colours, type in a hideous font, write whilst listening to the same song on repeat, write when very tired and when very hungry.
  3. Don’t neglect presentation! Make your writing look like it would do if it were published – respect yourself and your wordy extrusions. Admire it smugly. A little dreaming never hurt… but…
  4. Don’t expect too much! Chances are that, like me, you are not a genius, so your writing isn’t always going to blow the top of the world’s cap off.  Wade on through until you’re sailing again. Sentences are like the changing views from a river – pretty mediocre most of the time, but with passing sublimities. & Good metaphors for sentences are like interesting parts of a parade: non-existent.
  5. Don’t get too attached! As much as you love a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter, a story, a novel, a life’s work, if it isn’t doing its job properly then it’s got to go.
  6. Find someone you trust to read your stuff! Chances are you don’t have the gift of the gab and the (more important) gift of a fully-functioning bulls**t detector – so find someone who does! I have. And I married them so they’d never get away! Muuuhahaha!
  7. Redraft! But not lazily. Write it all out again! Touch up jobs on Word are just pushing the dust around.
  8. There is no number eight! Take a breather once in a while. Go on Wikipedia. Look up your hometown.
  9. Be ambitious! Just don’t get single-minded about those ambitions. Would it really be that bad if you don’t win the Nobel Prize at twenty-nine? That would be a pretty silly thing to kill yourself over…
  10. Don’t forget that not everyone’s a writer, but everyone’s a reader! Don’t talk too much about writing, concentrate on giving people excellent stuff to read!

How’d you like them apples?

Much love,

A Few Words to Fill a Sad, Sad Void… Or, some verbal trailers, if you will.

Posted in Delicious Morsels with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 15, 2010 by plumbobrainier

So – yeah.

I’ve not been overly proliferiffic of late.

But there are things on the horizon – OH READER! The metaphorical horizon is metaphorically littered with articles and bluedogposts and ideas for articles and blankhogposts!! These may look like insignificant dots from you’re standing (if they’re visible at all, especially to the young lady with the restricted view from behind the pillar at the back – next time fork out the extra few quid for a proper seat!) but in not too much time at all I hope they will sitting on this webface with disconcerting pride.

These are just a few of the things looking to squelch out of the pipeline in the coming hours, days and weeks:

Arise, Ms. Bullock!

1. A long overdue assessment of the filmographic works and humanitarian achievements of Ms. Sandra Bullock.

2. An in-depth discussion of the postmodernist narratology which pervades the musical output of Mr. Owen Pallett, of Toronto, Canada.*

Robin Hood fell ill - Mr. Pallett dons the tights!

*Mr. Owen Pallett’s latest album, ‘Heartland,’ was called a “firecracker of an album” by Pope Benedict the 16th, and “the soundtrack to my life getting really good then falling apart far too quickly” by Pope Benedict the 16th. These rave adulations make an assessment of Mr. Pallett’s literary value particularly pertinent.

3. A guest feature! The Paris Review has kindly donated an overlong and overtedious interview with an author, whose talent is only matched (and possily even superceded) by his obscurity. Tune in to find out who! (special prizes for the young scamperoo who can guess! Who says literature can’t be more fun than a parade?)

4. A review of page 53 of ‘Don Quixote’; the Cervantes version, not the Menard.

5. A tantalising teaser of Andy Johnston’s forthcoming, sure-to-be-earth-shattering novel, translated into Russian and then back into English.

6. The full publication of the above author’s Bewilderbliss-printed story (which was met with a belligerently hostile review within the four walls of this ettablisement), but with a twist! The English has been translated into Portuguese, and the Portuguese has been translated into English.

7. A 15,000 word description of my face.

Watch out! You’re drooling on your keyboard with anticipation!!

Love

P. R.